he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I just gift wrapped bread.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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