Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
