i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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