I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
where am i from again
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
