Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
