I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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