I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
