I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Mom said you looked used
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
