I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
