The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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