Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Randomize
