I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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