Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
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