I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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