Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
