Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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