I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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