I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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