it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
