he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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