I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
