Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts. http://tfl.nu/py1e
  Replies (22) Good night (2126) Bad night (3466)
• Favorite

  (578): View more from

  drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (578): drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm http://tfl.nu/89pn
  Replies (14) Good night (1052) Bad night (6244)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?" http://tfl.nu/24qc
  Replies (8) Good night (4904) Bad night (2077)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  .....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): .....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you http://tfl.nu/s188
  Replies (3) Good night (3402) Bad night (777)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon http://tfl.nu/nm2q
  Replies (14) Good night (4726) Bad night (1461)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.

  (517): View more from Michigan

  We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity. (517): We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by http://tfl.nu/0fvy
  Replies (9) Good night (3101) Bad night (890)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there... http://tfl.nu/mklp
  Replies (5) Good night (883) Bad night (1777)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch http://tfl.nu/vf66
  Replies (3) Good night (2465) Bad night (698)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  why would you automatically assume i'm high...

  (240): View more from Maryland

  you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): why would you automatically assume i'm high... (240): you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix. http://tfl.nu/8cui
  Replies (3) Good night (1956) Bad night (578)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life. http://tfl.nu/lr0e
  Replies (7) Good night (616) Bad night (1067)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag. http://tfl.nu/nvod
  Replies (2) Good night (581) Bad night (736)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat. http://tfl.nu/hgzf
  Replies (5) Good night (474) Bad night (831)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (662): Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now http://tfl.nu/yxmg
  Replies (2) Good night (529) Bad night (311)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I'm Batman.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls. (614): I'm Batman. http://tfl.nu/j50i
  Replies (3) Good night (522) Bad night (481)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult. http://tfl.nu/3wr7
  Replies (1) Good night (267) Bad night (482)

Randomize