before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
