Texts From Last Night

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  (913): View more from Kansas

  U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.

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  (913): U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that. http://tfl.nu/wlf7
  Replies (4) Good night (817) Bad night (2156)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.

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  (512): I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related. http://tfl.nu/b1mq
  Replies (30) Good night (3757) Bad night (993)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  her nose should be used as a dorsal fin

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  (404): her nose should be used as a dorsal fin http://tfl.nu/cjiq
  Replies (10) Good night (699) Bad night (3153)
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  (661): View more from California

  a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet

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  (661): a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet http://tfl.nu/xcx4
  Replies (36) Good night (4031) Bad night (1232)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka

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  (985): I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka http://tfl.nu/h91z
  Replies (10) Good night (2414) Bad night (1114)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment

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  (201): nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment http://tfl.nu/9t1d
  Replies (13) Good night (1275) Bad night (4388)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..

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  (414): Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well.. http://tfl.nu/jvza
  Replies (8) Good night (1157) Bad night (2119)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.

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  (215): Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea. http://tfl.nu/cv1y
  Replies (13) Good night (2193) Bad night (1103)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.

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  (978): He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment. http://tfl.nu/fwul
  Replies (12) Good night (2795) Bad night (1328)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away

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  (708): I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away http://tfl.nu/ohfx
  Replies (5) Good night (1061) Bad night (602)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.

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  (+61): I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in. http://tfl.nu/ilgv
  Replies (9) Good night (3178) Bad night (719)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.

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  (817): I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good. http://tfl.nu/zf93
  Replies (2) Good night (1096) Bad night (459)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.

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  (+44): You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon. http://tfl.nu/b5ax
  Replies (2) Good night (666) Bad night (355)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.

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  (303): Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept. http://tfl.nu/gkl8
  Replies (2) Good night (719) Bad night (323)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.

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  (360): I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this. http://tfl.nu/75ao
  Replies (4) Good night (414) Bad night (595)

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