Your dad touched me again.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.