Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking. http://tfl.nu/3fqs
  Replies (27) Good night (3404) Bad night (933)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory. http://tfl.nu/1joi
  Replies (30) Good night (6196) Bad night (1056)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus. http://tfl.nu/fd89
  Replies (19) Good night (7256) Bad night (1099)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer. http://tfl.nu/agxw
  Replies (4) Good night (2171) Bad night (785)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again http://tfl.nu/myb5
  Replies (3) Good night (1539) Bad night (2577)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy. http://tfl.nu/yj0s
  Replies (5) Good night (3976) Bad night (1426)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit. http://tfl.nu/4hrv
  Replies (23) Good night (4325) Bad night (909)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room http://tfl.nu/c34s
  Replies (5) Good night (3273) Bad night (811)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (270): You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it.. http://tfl.nu/hsv3
  Replies (2) Good night (1766) Bad night (519)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays http://tfl.nu/zrwo
  Replies (3) Good night (1097) Bad night (481)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome. http://tfl.nu/2baz
  Replies (8) Good night (2358) Bad night (432)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment. http://tfl.nu/pafa
  Replies (4) Good night (699) Bad night (235)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only http://tfl.nu/xu5w
  Replies (11) Good night (296) Bad night (558)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door.. http://tfl.nu/x3ci
  Replies (0) Good night (524) Bad night (194)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?

  (512): View more from Texas

  Won't she run out of nose eventually?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (254): She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually? (512): Won't she run out of nose eventually? http://tfl.nu/f0dc
  Replies (3) Good night (453) Bad night (496)

Randomize