How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.