I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
So squirting runs in the family.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though