I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.