Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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