I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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