In the future we'll all be gay
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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