No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize