Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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