Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
