I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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