if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Barsexuality is the new black.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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