Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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