Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
