Someone shit on the floor
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
