Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
