i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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