don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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