I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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