Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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