Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
