You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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