I just made out with a guy for $7.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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