just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
