Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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