Joe is yelling at the trees again.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize