I skipped work to stalk him.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
