I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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