Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize