Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
