The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
