i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
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