I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
