I'm drive I can fine osifer
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
