My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
