I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
