She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
