Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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