True but thats because hes a fetus.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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