Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
