I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize