i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Randomize
